it all began with a spine,
when you, with the softness of a flower petal,
ran your fingertips down my back,
and my insides whirred like a cold stack of falling dominoes.
we watched the early morning fog net together
with the sun and
bust its way out of the stronghold of the heavy, winter clouds.
it’s light fell through the cracks of tree branches and
split into pyramids of golden sheen,
like shining light through perspex.
we watched it all from the window,
we watched it all from the door,
we watched it rain, we watched it snow,
we watched as time froze cold.
and in summer, full of burned sausages and
pink skies, and waiting for the post to arrive,
the doorframes stood to attention like soldiers,
framing our love
like freshly painted portraits hung in galleries,
where our feet tread the same rooms,
walking new paths.
very cool…so tender…loved esp. the insides whirring like a cold stack of falling dominoes when he runs his fingertips down the back..and..summer, full of burned sausages and
pink skies…
Thank you Claudia! I’m so happy you liked it!
You never seem to disappoint, Louise. Love the start, with the spine… I know that feeling, but you describe it so well. The imagery of dominoes – fab! Then you go on to describe a whole relationship in a few lines. And the perfect ending, same rooms, new paths. So good, Louise. There’s some saying or other, about a poem should melt in its own..like ice on a cooker? Heck, can’t remember! Either way, this one does it!
David, thank you so much for your kind remarks! I agree, poetry should take on many forms, including melting, freezing, dripping, shining!
I definitely agree with David on this one, Louise – this poem is fantastic! And your imagery feels so natural, organic, and I love how you make it all connect.
Stunning, my friend.
Thanks so much Tim! You put a big smile on my face
Mission accomplished! ^_^
This was/is really quite wonderful. I can smell it. I can taste it; feel it. The imagery is spot on and I love it.
Thank you so much Kate, and apologies for the late reply!
Louise! Neat trick, making love come alive in visceral words. I caught a touch of e.e. cummings off the top, and this can only be a good thing. Keep framing your words into such beautiful portraits.
Thanks so much Peter, I’ll pop over to Cottonbombs soon and check out what is no doubt some fabulous new writing!
from a distance, i admire your creativity
David in Maine USA
And from a distance David, I am very grateful! Thank you.
awesome!!
Thanks Abichica!